Minggu, 12 Agustus 2012

Is size 10 the magic number?


Alexandra Miro, 36, is the co-founder of the online lingerie boutique Fox & Rose. She is married, with a three-year-old daughter, and is a natural size 10.

I don't have the perfect body, but now that I am in my thirties I'm really confident about the way I look. I was a size eight in my twenties, but dieted a lot to get there. I don't have the resolve to diet like that now, and, as a healthy and toned size 10, I don't really need to.

I do cardio exercise and Bikram yoga, but I'm not obsessive. I do them to feel good and energetic rather than to maintain my weight. I don't think about my size, apart from the two weeks before a holiday, when I might cut out carbs, but that is the only dieting I do. I like looking fit, but not thin.

Having a child has given me more important things to worry about, although, having said that, I do enjoy being a classic size 10, just because it makes life a lot simpler. I buy most of my clothes on the high street, and most clothes fit well and look good. Unless I put on a lot of weight, I don't think my husband notices my size; I'm pretty sure most men aren't bothered about it, unless you change shape dramatically.

I think obsessing about weight is damaging, and I try not to talk about weight in front of my daughter. I am of course aware that weight and body size is a hugely controversial issue, and I do have to consider it with my work, as we try to pick healthy, natural-looking size 10 models with curves for shoots - lingerie looks awful on skinny models.

I'm really resisting the pressure to be skinny, as there is loads of it around, especially in the fashion world, where a size 10 is considered quite large. I actually wouldn't care if I was a 12 or even 14, as long as I looked good. Look at Christina Hendricks. She is amazing. Attractiveness is really about what looks good on your body, so being a size 10 is pretty irrelevant. To me, it's nothing more than a number.


Left: Alexandra wears silk dress, £960, Peter Pilotto, Liberty, 020 7734 1234. Patent-leather shoes, £375, Rupert Sanderson, rupertsanderson.com . Gold earrings, £130, Phoebe Coleman, phoebecoleman.com . Right: Anneltje wears acetate/modal dress, £199, Tara Jarmon, Fenwick, 020 7629 9161. Leather shoes, £345, Jimmy Choo, jimmychoo.com . Silver bracelet, £68, Phoebe Coleman, phoebecoleman.com .

Anneltje Hacquebord, 34, is an architect. At her heaviest she weighed 20st. She has slimmed down to a size 10.

I always knew I was bigger as a child and I hated being put in the back of my ballet class with the fatter girls. As a teenager, I had a busy life and would skip meals, then gorge. This pattern went on into my twenties, by which time I was studying architecture. The long hours meant I cut back on the activities I enjoyed, like dancing. Inevitably I piled on weight. By the time I reached 30 I was a size 20, and 16st. I'd gained weight without noticing it. I overate, but my diet was also bad.

I'm a confident person, but being heavy affected me badly. I became less approachable to friends, and more reserved. I think people saw me as snobbish, but it was just a defence mechanism. Being fat also started to rob me of real pleasures in life. While I didn't stop dancing, I couldn't enjoy it so much, as I moved badly. Clothes shopping is also something I've always loved, but I spent a lot of time finding things that distracted from my size.

My weight was always private. I didn't want to discuss it with anyone, because I was so scared of failure if I tried to slim. Trying and failing seemed worse than not trying at all, so I put it off until I joined Rosemary Conley in 2010. I started running and exercising, and learnt to count calories. Within just over a year I'd reached a size 10. It felt like an absolute triumph. Reaching that golden size was so important. There's something about being able to shop for a 10. It's neither too heavy nor too light, and it feels healthy. I'd hate to go up to a 12 now.

People seem friendlier to me since I reached size 10, but there have been problems. Maintaining my size makes me slightly boring. I can't eat out so much, which caused friction with friends who enjoy restaurants. But mostly it's been positive. People at work seem to respect me more. Being fat made me look as if my life was out of control. The problem with gaining weight is that people know you have a weakness as soon as they set eyes on you. An alcoholic or smoker can keep it secret to an extent, but others judge you very quickly if you're overweight.

I have moments of missing rich food, but there's nothing else I miss from my old life. I've gained so much pleasure from reaching size 10, though I'll always feel like a recovering addict. I know how easily it could creep up again if I lose focus for a moment. Maintaining my weight, counting calories and exercising several times a week has to be second nature.

I never want to go back to what I was.

Simone Reeves, 50, was married for 28 years but is now divorced. She has three grown-up children. She had tummy-tuck surgery to reach a size 10.

I gained a big stomach after I had children and it was like a real freedom had been taken from me. Going up to a size 12 or bigger was a source of unhappiness in my life. My GP told me to wear a girdle, but that made me feel as if my life as an attractive woman was over. I'd been petite when younger, but gained weight easily with each child.

Bringing up kids also meant my diet changed, and by my late twenties my favourite clothes no longer fitted. Then I gained more weight with middle age. Jeans wouldn't zip up and I only had one bikini, which I hated, but which hid my bulge. I hated my body, and the way it changed my relationship with clothes. I started wearing things I'd not normally be seen dead in. And I'd walk with my hands across the fattest part of my stomach.

I got divorced when I was in my mid forties, and, although my weight gain wasn't the reason we split, the fact I no longer had the body I wanted certainly contributed to my unhappiness with life. Being single reminded me how much I wanted to be a neat size 10 again; as I was, no way would I get undressed in front of a man. That was a big motivating force - I didn't want to feel like my life was over. My size was making me feel older than I actually was.

Doing something drastic was my only option, so I looked into cosmetic surgery, then had a tummy-tuck operation with Transform that cost £4,800. It was a lot of money, but felt like an investment in myself. Getting down to a size 10 changed my life and I felt like a new me. I've gained huge confidence, and the freedom to express myself with my clothes and shape. Most of all, I love all nine of the new bikinis I bought when I reached size 10. Never again will I have to buy something and think, 'Is this going to hide enough of my body?'


Left: Simone wears silk-mix dress, £569, Piazza Sempione, Fenwick, fenwick.co.uk . Silver necklace, £149, Phoebe Coleman, phoebecoleman.com . Patent-leather shoes, £375, Christian Louboutin, eu.christianlouboutin.com . Right: Becca wears silk dress, £365, Tibi, my-wardrobe.com . Suede shoes, £445, Nicholas Kirkwood, 020 7290 1404. Gold earrings, £156, Phoebe Coleman, phoebecoleman.com .

Becca Neilson, 24, is a marketing assistant for Emma Bridgewater pottery. She is a size 10, but would like to be an eight or smaller.

I think everyone wants to be smaller than they are. I'd like to be at least a size smaller, and ideally a six. I was a skinny child, but purposefully put on weight when I was 18 as I wanted a few curves. I went up from 8st to 10st, but of course none of the weight went on where I wanted it. I didn't like feeling heavy, and I have been struggling to lose the weight ever since then, even though I'm now 9st.

I make sure I eat healthy foods so that I can have bigger portions, because I naturally have a large appetite and enjoy my food. I eat lots of fresh fruit and veg, and hold back on the fried food. Healthy eating is a way of managing my diet without going hungry, and it helps me not to put on weight.

I don't think that men really notice if you're an eight or a 10, and if anything they like a fuller figure. Dieting is really something I do for myself to make me feel more confident and happy, and because clothes shopping is a much better experience when you're smaller. Clothes look better in the way they hang off you, and it's easier to make different pieces work together, rather than just having to cover up.

What I really love about being slim and small is that it gives the impression of being in control of my life. I am also very aware how easy it is to put on weight as you get older, and how much harder it is to lose, so I really don't want to go over 9st if I can help it. And I know it would definitely affect me emotionally if I went up to a size 12 or above. Being slim makes me feel emotionally and physically confident.

I am at a very uncertain age in my life, especially now that jobs and work are so hard to find for people in their teens and twenties. Young people my age are trying to find things that make them feel they have some control of their destiny. Being out of control with your weight makes you feel out of control with so many other areas of your life. Maybe that's why there are so many eating disorders among people of my age.

I look at women who are slimmer, who are dressed well, with good hair and make-up, and it makes me feel as if they're in control and doing well for themselves. It gives them an impression of power and success. It's something we all aspire to. Who wouldn't want that?

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